One of the hardest things about being a mom is dealing with my own expectations of motherhood. I find myself unsure of what I’m doing and certain there is a right way to raise my son. A right way to soothe and nurture him. A right way to attach. I anticipated that transitioning to motherhood would be smooth, but it’s been anything but. The experience has me reflecting on how I’ve navigated other life transitions and thinking about my own mother.
When I got married two and a half years ago a friend asked me what I thought my mom would have been like leading up to and during the wedding. I was sad to discover I didn’t have an answer. I couldn’t conjure an image, a sound, or a vibe. I’m starting to forget her. (read more…)